Freedom Beauty Truth

Following from my previous two blog posts in this mini-series about my recent decision to leave South Africa, country of my birth, and return to Australia where I had lived for many years... Here is the list of the main things I loved about living in South Africa (again). The first three are also the reasons we decided to move back there in the first place.... 1.  Family and friends Of course. It goes without saying that it’s much nicer to be closer to family and friends and have the opportunity to see them more often. The opportunities I had to reconnect after 10 years living out of the country I grew up in were much treasured, and I have so many happy memories – including our wedding on Noordhoek beach; my best friend from school days flying down to help before my wedding, and again to meet my newborn daughter a year and a half later (this could not have happened if I was still living overseas); my surprise baby shower with family in the Eastern Cape; a Christmas in...

After my last blog post, it might seem as if the decision to leave South Africa was an easy one. It seems I have only criticism and scorn for the country of my childhood and family. This really isn’t true. I do believe you should be able to honestly critique your own country, your own background and origins though. It’s like being able to love your family or friends completely, yet still see them for who they honestly are – imperfect, fallible human beings. Sometimes even downright annoying... as we all are. And yes, sometimes we even need to head out into the world, leaving them behind for time, because we need a bit of ‘space’ to grow (this usually happens after leaving school). In other words, I am not trying to say that one country is better than another, just different. Since countries are made up of people, it’s not surprising that they will not be perfect either - and anyway finding your way in the world is a constant negotiation between your own needs, and those of ot...

I can’t say I am sad to see the back of 2012. One absolutely mind-blowingly amazing thing happened – I gave birth to the most gorgeous little girl in the world (and I am not at all biased, of course). Other than that, however, and even in part due to that, it was a very difficult year – stressful, tiring, challenging, demanding…all those sorts of words. And at times heart-breaking. Why? Well, a few reasons – some of which were simply the unsurprising results of being a new mum: adjustments in my own selfish little world, and my marriage (reasonably new, at 2 years); sleep deprivation; various anxieties (big and small) about whether I was doing the right thing; and often feelings of isolation and loneliness (despite having a loving, involved husband to share the journey with). But we also packed up our lives of over 3 years in Cape Town , South Africa , to move back to Australia , via 3 months in New Zealand . With four animals and all the logistics that involved (quara...

I am looking for a community and society I can introduce our daughter into with pride. This isn’t it. These recent words of mine on facebook elicited many responses from friends and family - mostly those in South Africa – either saying I should move to their neighbourhood as it has good schools and churches, or that the perfect community does not exist... I found these responses most unsatisfactory, and here‘s why: A ‘good’ community or society is more than its schools and churches – these are only ‘good’ for those that are a part of the particular group or subculture – I want to be part of something bigger than that: multi-layered and inclusive, with a good mix of people of various races/ethnicities, socio-economic backgrounds, age groups and religious/worldviews. Anything lacking this diversity is a sub culture, an ‘us and them’ space, and often an elite or exclusive group which ‘allows’ membership based on certain restrictive criteria or traditions. Conversely, true community is...

In the middle of an article on 'resisting consumerism', I hopped off the bus, just to buy that hat I had been thinking of for days. Because I don't have enough hats! Clearly. I walked into the shop wearing the hat I had bought there only a few days ago! Two new hats in a week - and I already had too many to start with. Not only that - I had no money, and still no job. Yet there I was again, at the altar of hyper-consumerism. This altar doesn't even require you to kneel. It's all too easy. It strokes and panders to your ego, and the more you play this game, the easier it gets to drop $200 in a week - a week in which you weren't making any more money.... The buying impulse seems to manifest most strongly at times like this, actually. Self-destructive tendencies. Infantile attempts to placate the raging three-year-old within, who is demanding to be entertained, demanding attention, demanding every toy in the shop. Or perhaps it's my crazy way of tryin...

Those stupid, plastic-looking people in the posters on the wall of the "industry medical" doctors' office!! I can see them still, in my resentful mind's eye. Smiling down on me as I sat waiting for my "pre-employment" medical. Like some sort of work horse, in days gone by, having its teeth and legs checked for any health problems, defects..."Must get our money's worth from these little workers. Don't want any hassles or issues". The poster people are all perfect little workers, "professionals" - well groomed, smiling cheesy smiles, dressed according to their professions...and   vanilla.   So vanilla, so pastel, I want to puke. One's got a headset (call centre person, like I may be soon?) and another is typing away like a good little office amoeba. Erggg. And of course there's a man in a hard hat, and another...oh who cares - they are like clones of "the ideal system fodder" in various shades of pastel. Ergg...